Everybody Change Jobs
We need more diversity.
More!
I was watching the television news and the newscaster’s name was Muk Luck Yoing Yang Bieu. I think he is a first generation son of a Pakistani guy.
That’s fine. We need more different kinds of ethnic people in responsible positions to reflect the ever changing polyglot nature of America... the so-called melting pot.
But we can do better.
I have a suggestion.
For a period of one year, we change jobs. Everybody change jobs.
All black athletes leave their jobs as athletes. And become lawyers. All the white guys who are now lawyers, become athletes.
I know I could get in real trouble for suggesting this, if I had a boss over me on this column. Jimmy the Greek was fired by the TV network years ago for not being politically correct, because he said (over the air) that black athletes were better than white. Even though that’s true, he was fired.
But I don’t have a boss. Naaa-naa-naaah-naaaa-naaa-naaaaaaaa!
Black Americans are over-represented in sports, and under represented in the courtroom as (barristers) lawyers. Think of it, steroid built huge black men jammed into suits and ties, arguing unpersuasively for their clients (it takes time for anybody to learn, including me).
Meanwhile, small sized white guys, former lawyers, would be stumbling across a football field, fumbling, missing field goals, tripping each other, falling down for no reason. What fun! It would open the game wide up, make it more exciting.
The kind of sport where anything can happen.
Okay. If the game was really really bad, we could give the ex-lawyers steroids. Just contact the commissioner of baseball for a supply, or call 1-800-Barry Bonds.
Why am I suggesting this you might ask? Isn’t this a crazy scheme, you might think? Try to understand. When a person stretches his horizon by stepping outside his comfort zone, he grows in stature.
We mandate many other kinds of behavior. Why not this?
There could be huge potential benefits. For example, almost all social work today is done by women. All women currently in social work, would leave those positions, and turn them over exclusively to selfish, egotistical young blonde guys named “Lance.”
When you came in to apply for government-provided benefits, that sonofabitch Lance would piss you off so much, be such an arrogant bastard, you’d storm out of the office. You’d be determined to make it on your own, and prove him wrong, rub his nose in it.
We could cut the cost of government benefits in half.
Here’s another possibility. All congressmen and women would leave their posts, and the positions would be filled by honest people….if they can be found.
All corporate executives would give their jobs up to Latino farm laborers, and take up those jobs picking in the fields. This would teach them (executives) what actual hard work is like. Executive
All East Indians would abandon their positions as hotel and motel owners. This is strictly a personal request. I’d just like once to walk into a hotel lobby and not see chutney cooking on a hot plate…..a small, demure woman in a robe with a ruby between her eyes behind the counter.
I love East Indians, and chutney, and Bombay. Does that make me a racist?
I want to see people open up to new possibilities, that‘s all.
I’ll tell you what. If the others give up their jobs, I’ll give up this column, and take up farming.
But I’ll warn ya.’ You’ll have less vegetables available in the store.
© Copyright 2006 by SammonSays.com
John Sammon is the author of two books and writes a weekly humor column you may access at http://www.Sammonsays.com
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